The Whole Story

pjdillon@attglobal.net
The clock is ticking down to midnight again.
We’re running 45 minutes or so to Christmas here in Indonesia and though he should be hunkered down in his best “zuker-rasserfrazz”-ing grinchy best, bolting oiled runners on his mental toboggan and looking for new and exciting ways to mis-represent himself, holiday 2003 finds him lethargic and squishy… against the odds the cantankerous green fellah has found love – in and of itself not a remarkable thing – and done something about it (other than legally actionable offences… no truth to those rumors, by the way) and PROPOSED to she-who-would-become-Grinchette. More remarkable yet, SHE SAID YES!
I’ve promised The Rabble all the gory details of the engagement, and given that my lean, green Queen is reclining now ahead of morning rituals of wrapping paper and sticky tape, there’s no time like the present.

I guess I’d known for a while that J is about as good at it gets: smart, curious, funny, sexy, resilient. And sweet on me, a big, blousy foreigner 12 years her senior. Go figure.
There were hints along the way, beginning I suppose on the very first evening we spent together, Valentines Day 2000 (queue insipid Oprah show soundtrack 'Awwwww's). One smooch and I told her: “We’re in trouble.” Kinda never left after that night.
In the summer of 2002, after I returned from Afghanistan, we took a few weeks in Canada. Parts of that trip are part of the Grinch's public diary, the stories we re-tell to friends and family: Yeti, The Goolies, Wyle E. and the wife-y. One of them is illuminating.
We were several hours east of Fredericton, New Brunswick, hammering along the T-Can on my trusty old CB900 beneath segregated skies: southern sunshine blues and whites hard up against the blackened bruises of a great northeasterly thunderstorm.
Over coffee at a last gasp diner I asked if she wanted to put on rain gear. With the following caveat: If we suit up, it will not rain. If we ride as is, it’ll pour.
We drove off in our regular gear and left the how’s and where’s of eastern Canadian meteorology to our betters. 20 minutes later the first rains hit, we pulled over soaked to change by the roadside and returned, soaked, to our journey. Within a quarter hour we were virtually alone on the highway, all the car traffic having pulled over, hazards flashing, chased off by the pounding rains. Tractor trailers passed us unimpressed as we doddled along at 60, then 80 and finally, as I gained confidence 100 km/h.
So it went, till we broke through the clouds outside historic old Fredericton, which beaded and twinkled like a beat-up finned Caddy fresh from the auto-wash. When we finally pulled up outside the tourism office there in search of a room, we were waterlogged and giddy: there are not many people I know who would have handled that situation the way J did, laughing and cracking jokes about a car-load of gap-toothed Newfies who passed us by with a thumbs-up cheer, and I guess, maybe, that’s when I was ready to acknowledge what had been nibbling away at the edges of my mind for some time: this gal was a keeper.
Fast forward 15 months and we’re on holiday in Australia. I’d thought to pop the question without much fanfare at some point during our trip but after a couple of weeks toodling about on the Sunshine Coast, the Blue Mountains, Sydney etc. there’d not been a good moment and I’d not had a chance to slip away and find a nice ring. I settled on doing it the last night in Sydney but it became clear that that Saturday night would be taken up with friends, a couple of rugby matches and various and sundry beers so I sided with the moment and put the engagement on hold. The irony of that decision is that the previous night in Montreal, my brother had proposed to his girlfriend, successfully by the way, so if you did the time-zone mathematics, we might both have had announcements within just a few hours of one-another!
Cussed him out on the phone when I found out and confided that I was prepping for the same thing.
Three weeks ago, under shadow of “It’s the holiday season, lets do a big dinner with friends” I started making calls and trying, without actually telling anyone what was going on, to coax folks into coming along to La Na Thai restaurant for dinner.
Brought my roomie Juliana into my confidence – needed a woman’s counsel - spoke to LNT’s owner who’s a friend, worked out a menu, got a discount on drinks and got the ball rolling: bevies at Cinnabar, which is sort of the unofficial press club, and then a short stroll over to the restaurant.
Excellent meal for 22, a bit of vino, good chatter and plenty of knots in this kid’s stomach. I’d worked on some sort of something that I wanted to say to my gal but all for naught. After diner I dragged her away from an animated conversation, into a quiet, secluded and candle-lit end of the restaurant.
Yammered and hummed and held her hand and said stuff about how long we’d been together (3yr, 9 mths), and how much I care and yadda-yadda-yadda and then everything telescoped and the big-ass box the wee ring I’d bought was burning a hole in my pocket so rather than just yammering on I dropped to one knee, popped the lid and the question.
Poor thing, she was shivering and, yes, it did take a couple of tries – three actually – to get a coherent answer outta her (“Are you sure you want to do this?” were the only words she spoke) before finally, “Yes.”
I put the too bit platinum and diamond affair on her finger, we had a snog and then walked back in to join our friends, who with the exception of the chain-smoking Juliana were blissfully unaware of what was going on. Again I stammered through an announcement of sorts – I guess it worked because all the girls cried – about how most of us are a long way from home and how we sorta become family in the absence of the same, etc etc, and we were done. I’d splurged on some decent champagne and the folks at LNT had very casually brought in the glasses whilst we were out, so we had a toast and, the deed was done.
It’s been ten days now. Never felt better or more sure of anything in my life. We’re in early days yet, only the most general plans but looking forward to finalizing the deal in late summer here in Indonesia and then again for good measure in Canada in the fall.
For all those folks who sent massages, SMSs, e-mails and good vibes, thanks and look forward to seeing you at one or the other of the nuptials.
It’s been a heck of a year. Ho-Ho-Ho.