Creepy Dead Baby Recruitment Efforts
The following item from The Times (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,3-2387589,00.html) must qualify as the creepiest item of the day:
THE Pope will cast aside centuries of Catholic belief later this week by abolishing formally the concept of limbo, in a gesture calculated to help to win the souls of millions of babies in the developing world for Christ.
All the evidence suggests that Benedict XVI never believed in the idea anyway. But in the fertile evangelisation zones of Africa and Asia, the Pope — an acknowledged authority on all things Islamic — is only too aware that Muslims believe the souls of stillborn babies go straight to Heaven. For the Church, looking to spread the faith in countries with a high infant mortality rate, now is a good time to make it absolutely clear that stillborn babies of Christian mothers go direct to Heaven, too.
The Pope is expected to abolish only “limbus infantium”, where the souls of unbaptised infants go. The precise status of “limbus patrum”, where the good people went who lived before Christ remains . . . well, in limbo.
Is it just me or is the competition for savable souls getting just a wee bit wacky? What next, microwave ovens and redeemable frequent flier miles for new converts?
This will presumably provide fertile ground for comic relief but there's at least one prankster out there who'll have to give this one a close look. In his seminal album - yes, ALBUM... black disky containing recorded data - Class Clown, George Carlin riffs on Heaven, Hell, Purgatory and Limbo. This a few tracks after The Seven Words You Can't Say on Television, which to this day I can (and do) quote chapter and verse. It all seems so genteel now but back in the 70s - when attending a Life of Brian matinee (We-wees Wodewick!) was considered grounds for excommunication - Carlin, Richard Pryor and other graduates of the Lenny Bruce school of social criticism were considered dangerous men.
If the Pope really wants to ramp up the numbers in developing countries he might consider lowering the conversion bar. Most Evangelists just wanna dunk people, the conversion to Islam is only slightly more difficult than getting a video membership card (Recite the Testament of Faith in Arabic before a cleric and it's 'Welcome Aboard'), and Mormons will do for you retroactively after you - and your entire line - are centuries dead.
I recommend drive-through conversions tied into an election-registration program. Resign yourself to a certain vision of the thereafter and take a degree of control over the here-and-now at the same time.
Forgive me, I'm ten days into the fast and feeling a bit lightheaded. Monday was tough; pretty much ready to chew through my seatbelt on the drive to Pizza House (a straight rip-of of Pizza Hut located in the centre of Banda Aceh) to break the fast with a large House Pepperoni with extra-cheese and strawberry milkshake. I really feel for the kids who work there. How tough is it to be preparing food when you haven't had a thing since 430 am?
Word @ Pasar Aceh
- Talk on the street is that the Shariyah enforcement androids want to close down Caswells sandwich shop, one of only two places where the infidels can eat during daylight hours.
- Our lovely cleaning lady at the Banda Aceh office lost her husband yesterday. He was helping a neighbor work on the house and somehow electrocuted himself. She's got four kids under the age of 16.
- Will break fast at the office in 48 minutes and 23 seconds, 22 seconds, 21 seconds... as one of our international staff is returning to Japan. Then off the Italian restaurant for overcooked linguini.
- Grinch Lair has been rewired for wireless Internet. Boys climbed up the mast outside the kitchen (dead owner, the former Regent of North Aceh, was a ham radio nut) and now we've got better connection speeds than folks in Singapore. Full package costs about $90/month. Joy. No excuse not to work 24/7 now.
- Alerted teman-teman in bulk e-mail that the Blog is alive. Also advised about the following Grinch cameo appearance: Earlier this year I helped the folks at a London production house shoot a reenactment for the show ‘Seconds From Disaster’. My role as 'Anonymous Technician #2: Guy with Measuring Tape’ is being described as "a gripping tour-de-farce" – MSNBC; "complex… allegorical" - S Hawking; "Reminiscent of Brando and other complicated fat guys.." – The Drudge Report; "Hoo-Mammy-Tsunami!!!" - Hollywood Insider.
‘Asian Tsunami’ is going to air on National Geographic Channel in the US on the 25th October at 9pm, and again on the 28th October at 3pm. No word on broadcasts north of the 49th parallel or abroad.