Grinch Holiday ramblings...

Just back from three weeks R&R in the homeland. Some musings: Top Ten Holiday Highlights (in no particular order) 1. 4 1/2 year old female grinchlette in a life-jacket bobbing like a cork down Ottawa River rapids squealing, “Lemme go! Let! Me! Go!” to a clingy Dad. Thanks to Dave at http://www.ottawacityadventures.com/adventures/rafting/ 2. Watching reactions in Plateau Montreal shops as the smell of a backpack stuffed with fresh Fairmont bagels infused the air. http://www.fairmountbagel.com/ 3. Having the kids identify the Big Dipper the first time they’d ever seen a truly star-studded northern sky (thanks apparently to Disney Channel’s Doc McStuffins & “Celestial Celeste” who is apparently doing a better job edukatin’ my kids than I) http://www.allreadable.com/39316qDW 4. Watching 4 1/2 year old male grinchlette on auto-belay flash a three-story vertical wall at Altitude in Gatineau, pausing long enough to say, “Hey, good lookin’” to my brother, his climbing partner. http://www.altitudegym.ca/en/ 5. The Big Family Dinner; many roast beasts consumed. 6. Special evening of fine dining with the famle @ Le Serpent… http://www.leserpent.ca/en/ 7. Camping… bc a bad day camping is still more enjoyable than the best day at work (even when it leaves yer Grinch with a severed tendon in his hand that will require surgery within the week) http://www.ontarioparks.com/park/voyageur 8. Street hockey, trampolines, rock climbing, rafting, horseback rides and backyard swimming pools; blueberry pancakes, suitable volumes of decent wine, village-made cheese, and decent beers with buddies in Mtl; the CFL; Franco-Quebecois who default to English and Anglo-Ontarians who default to French; dueling hummingbirds, fat hissing ‘coons at the Mont Royal pullover, gonzo moths, a (sadly) rare tree frog & massive turkey vultures wheeling, watching, waiting; Players Extra-Light Kings and economy-sized little blue boats; needing a duvet in August and family, family, family. 9. Driving the same car for three weeks without feeling like an unwitting participant in a diabolical swarm-theory experiment http://www.scholarpedia.org/article/Swarm_intelligence Taking the same period to figure out wipers and lights have swapped sides on the steering column. 10. Canadian Tire. Before there was anything else, there was Canadian Tire http://www.canadiantire.ca/en.html Dillon Family Holiday: By the Numbers Aggregate air travel (4pax) 136,240kms. Total layover time: 19.5 hrs. Kms on rental car: 1,812. Speeding/parking tickets: 0. Times in the past 15 years when that's happened: 0. Kms traveled by Zodiac: 9.1. Kms by ferry: 4.8. Kms by horseback: 2.2 (guesstimate). Tent poles known to be broken prior to leaving to camp ground: 1. Percentage level of importance of that pole in timely erection of tent fly: 100. Minutes required for sky to go from blue to black after setting up camp tent (minus fly): 15. Mins of continuous bloody rain before tent fly successfully raised: 16. Number of new curse words acquired by kids: 3. Number with more than one syllable: 2. Years rolled back as Dad, Mum and son again wrestled against the elements on a camping trip: 30+ Check-in bags to Canada: 3. Check-in bags to Jakarta: 5. Weight of return baggage: 97.2kg. Quarts of fresh blueberries crushed in return baggage: 1. Jam jars smashed: 0. Total new books acquired: 17. Total of those books that are for adults: 2. Bottles of single malt acquired at Doha Duty free: 2. Rank (1-10) of Doha duty free selection of single malts: 8.7. Percentage likelihood single malts to be provided as gifts: 0. Total clothes and meds bill at Hawkesbury, Ont. Walmart store: $531. Bill at Hawkesbury, Ont. Harley dealership: $138.48. Number of days after leaving Canada that cast members of TV show Sons of Anarchy will (inexplicably) travel of Hawkesbury, Ont. HD shop to party with locals: 24. Level of spouse's disappointment (1-10) that she won't meet the guy who plays SAMCRO's sexual deviant Sgt-At-Arms, Tig Trager: 8.1. Level of disappointment had it been Opie: 11 Pax at Big Family Dinner: 16. Bottles of wine drunk: Dunno oshiffer. Montreal-style bagels purchased 24 hours prior to BFD: six dozen. Bagels remaining to be brought to Jakarta (after vultures picked through the remains): six. Actually brought: 0 (bc one does not leave parents without bagels). New craft beers made in nearby village of 1,500: 2. Taps of craft beer made within an hour's drive of the village in a new local tav: 19. Average alcohol level: 6.8%. Confirmed number of marshmallows eaten by two under-5s: 15. Stomach incidents: 1. Percentage likelihood daughter will impale marshmallow and eat it before it can be roasted: 100. Cumulative wasp stings: 3. Wasp stings at 2:30am in a pitch-effin-black bathroom: 1. Number of new curse words acquired by kids: 0. 20-something Arab men on return flight who spoke English when they boarded for Jakarta: six. Who spoke English when mate unloaded on them for behaving like bleedin’ eejits: 0. Author's weigh gain: 2.5kg. Primary physical activity: opening fridge door; light laundry. Spouse's weight gain: nil. Primary physical activity: 5km morning power-walk. Lessons learned: Sorry… can you repeat the question?